A mindless story
by gosscliff
Summary: Rated M for some stuff...There is a different plot in mostly every chapter.Raven travels into Robin's mind and fids the cause of his strange behaviour...
1. Chapter 1

Like the summary said,there is no plot in this story,just mindless stuff going on.If you like-review.If you don't like-review.If you review,Gossie will be happy.If you don't review,Gossie will be sad. :(

I'm just kidding.Review if you like-I'm not forcing anyone.

**This is the first chapter of my story.I put my heart and soul in it.Stop reading my stupid notes and proceed to  
the mindless garbage YOU want.**

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_**HOW HIGH**_

The titans were hanging out in the tower when suddenly Beast boy rushed into the hall.

"Hey,you guys seen a brown box with a label that said 'BB's pleasure stash' ?",he asked.The changeling had a worried expression.

"What's up BB?",asked Cyborg.He knew that when BB was worried something bad had happened.

"My...umm...box of...CDs.It's missing and I REALLY need it.".BB looked desperate.

"You're lieing, green dude.",said Robin."I know you and I know when you're not telling the truth."

BB looked shocked."Robin!I'm surprised!You're my best friend and I wouldn't even CONSIDER such a despicable act..."

"You have astashof pot!".The changeling was interrupted by Raven.

"But how..."

"I can read your mind,dumbass.",said the dark girl.

"DAMN!",the green teen muttered.

"Wait,wait,wait!You have marihuana?",asked Cy.

"Umm...yep",said BB quietly.

"And you were planning on smoking it all yourself!"

"Of course,man.Do you know how hard it is to find pot in Jump city?",said BB.When he saw the angry 'What the fuck!' looks on his teammates' faces he quickly added:"Now that I think about it,there's nothing better than sharing drugs with your friends."

"You call marihuana a drug?",said Robin with sarcasm."Man,I can smoke a pound of it and still think straight."

"Yeah right!Birdy boy,whenYOUsmoke two cigatettes you won't even be able to tell me Star's breast size!",said Cy.

"Tin man,believe me,there are some things you never forget...",answered Robin and looked dreamily at the tamaranian,who smiled nerviously.

"OK then!I challenge you to a POT CONTEST!",said the half-robot,poking the Boy Wonder on the chest.

"You're on,tin man!"

Beast boy quickly whispered in his ear: "Robin,I hope you reconsider about this.Cy challenged me once.I ended up running naked in the street."

But the team leader had already made up his mind: "Just say when and where!"

"How's about here and now?",said Cyborg.

"Starfire,bring some paper!",ordered Robin.

"As you say,Robin.Although I still don't understand this 'smoking'.",she said leaving the kitchen.

"Guys,we need to find the pot first!",said BB.

"Titans!Spread out and find that marihuana!",instructed the team leader.

After about half an hour they found it under the changeling's bed.It turned out he got so stoned the last time that he forgot where he had put it.

* * *

Five minutes afterwards,Cyborg and Robin were sitting on the sofa,sucking fiercly on the cigarettes.

"One!",shouted Cy and reached for the hay stash,helping himself to another cigarette.

"One...",coughed the Boy Wonder.

"Pussy!Can't take it,can ya?",mocked the half-robot.

"Just watch me,tin man!"

It was clear that Cy had an enormous advantage over the team leader.In a final act of desperation,Robin asked BB to give him a hand (and a fresh pair of lungs).After smoking all of the weed,the final score was: Cyborg-12,RobinBB-7.The three stoned teens were now sitting in the sofa,laughing fiercly.

"So,what's-your-name.Do you remember what's-her-name's breast size?",asked the half-robot.

"What the fuck are ya talkin' 'bout?Hey,have ya noticed that your own fart smells kinda good...",stated the Boy Wonder.

"I'll smoke to that!",said BB.Then the changeling saw a pigeon,flying near the tower.He started giggling.His two high teammates,not knowing what their friend was laughing about,did the same.After about ten minutes,Cyborg was enlightenedbya brilliant idea: "Hey,let's go buy VagiClean!"

"What's that,Cy?"

"Well,it's what chicks use to clean their vags."

Again,the three started laughing like crazy.

"And where are we gonna find money?",asked Robin.

"What about the tower?Man,it's gotta cost SOMETHING.",suggested BB.

"Yeah,man!Let's sell this freakin' fox hole and buy VagiClean.

"Hey,where are we gonna live?" ,asked BB.

"At the tower,dumbass!"

"Oh,right.Sorry..."

"Let's go,Brad and Jacob!",said Cy.

"That's Marilyn and Jacob.",the changeling corrected him.

"There's a difference?"

Raven and Starfire watched as the three assholes decided to sell their home.

"You can't sell the tower!I like it here!",cried Star.

Robin stood up,slowly approached the tamaranian and started sniffing her.Starfire didn't know what to do.After a few seconds Robin smiled: "You know what,Cometflame?You kinda smell like my fart!".

And with that he collapsed on the floor,laughing his balls out.BB and Cy also started giggling like crazy.Starfire looked really upset and,without a word,flew up to her room.Raven,although,was standing there,too shocked to say anything.She waited patiently for the stoned boys to stop laughing.

"Umm...I know I might regret this,but why do you need VagiClean?",she asked.

"What are you,retarded?",yelled Robin."Can't you see we're thirsty,man?And you know what,cape boy?You're UGLY!Let's go greeny and robodude!"

"I WON'T LET YOU SELL OUR HOME TO BUY SOMETHING YOU DON'T EVEN NEED!",shouted Raven."ITWOULD BE LIKE ME BUYING A DICK ENLARGEMENT PUMP!"

After looking closely at her lower area,BB exclaimed: "And judging by the size of it,I'd say you really need one,cape boy."

And with that,the boys left the tower,leaving a stunned Raven.

* * *

When the marihuana had lost it's effect,the three boys found themselves dragging bags full of what looked like VagiClean.Since they had no idea what they had done,they decided to go ask the girls back at the tower.But as they approached,they saw a sobbing Starfire and a furious Raven,sitting on the rocks beside the sea.

"Hey Raven!",shouted Cy from a distance."Why aren't you inside and why is Star crying?"

"YOU MINDLESS COCKSUCKING IDIOTS!",yelled Raven."AFTER YOUR LITTLE 'POT COMPETITION' YOU ASSHOLES DECIDED TO SELL OUR FREAKIN' HOME TO BUY A LIFE-TIME SUPPLY OF CUNT-CLEANING EQUIPMENT!".She looked absolutely enraged.

Starfire approached Robin andafter asking her why she was crying she slapped him in the face and yelled: "YOU SAID I SMELL LIKE YOUR FART!YOU ARE A SHITY'HED COCK'LORFT'SUCKER!"

Robin was speechless.He felt rage rising inside him,burning him.

"I say we go speak with the guy we sold the tower to.If he doesn't give it back to us,we kick his ass!",he said.

They went to the entrance and rang the doorbell.The door opened only to reveal...

"Hello,Titans.I've been expecting you..."

** TBC**

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OOOOHHH!I get goosebumps! RR and as soon as I get at least 3 positive reviews (That's to know if you guys liked it and whether it's worth it) I will update. 


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N : Sorry I'm updating,but the story just got good ;).Let's see what happened...Our boys got stoned and sold the tower to someone...the question is WHO?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans or anything related to theteen Titans!**

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**_A deal's a deal (PART 1)_**

Robin's blood froze.On the door was none other than...

"What...how...",the team leader gasped.

"Oh,now,Robin,don't get uset.After all YOU sold the island to be.600 dollars,best deal in my life.",laughed the masked man.

Had Slade finally won?Now that he owned their home,he had taken their soul : Robin's gym equipment,Cyborg's gadgets,Raven's...tea,Starfire's...mustard and BB's...

"Dude!My porn video collection!We need to get the tower back!",shouted a certain green teen.

"Titans,GO!"

The teens rushed to battle with the villain.

"I wouldn't do that",said Slade."You see,children,you're on private property.I can have you arrested."

As he said that,the 'children' froze still.

"What do you want,Slade?",asked Robin suspiciously.He knew the villain didn't need the island so there had to be a catch.

"Good question,former apprentice.Let's see...Oh,yea!I want Starfire and Raven to...nah.Robin and Raven...nope.I got it!You all shall be my servants for say...3 days."

'Not TOO hard',thought the Boy Wonder."Titans?"

They all agreed.After all,none of them wanted to go to jail.'Besides,I like my ass.',thought BB

* * *

Later,the titans and Slade were in the main hall. 

"Slade?Do you not wish for us to take over the world or rob a bank?",asked Starfire a little frightened.The villain turned to her.

"Maybe later.Now...",he got his feet up on the table."Now you can rub my ankles,dear."

* * *

Raven was tired.It had been a long night.Tommorow was going to be the first of three days under Slade's service.She needed to clear her mind.Meditate.Prepare for the horrible,perverted tasks that lay ahead.As she entered her room,she noticed there was someone in her bed.She heard moaning coming from under the blankets.She carefully approached the bed and swiftly removed the blanket.What she saw made her sick.Slade was having sex with...AQUALAD! 

"Wha...who...WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SCREWING AQUALAD!",gasped the violet haired girl.

"Raven,I did not force him.He's my lover.",smirked slade under his mask.Aqualad had been watching sheepishly until now.

"Err...you can join in if you want,Raven...",he suggested.Raven gave him a poisonous look.

"EEEEEWWWW!NO!Do I look like I want to join in a sick villain-gay-demon threeway?YUCK!".The girl was disgusted.On HER OWN BED!"Slade,you might own the tower,but you don't own my things.GET OUT OF MY FREAKIN' BED YOU SICKO!"

"But Raven,we werejust starting to have fun!".Slade got his right hand out of the blankets.He was holding the dark girl's mirror,she noticed there was a condom sliped on the handle."Besides,I own your things.I payed the boys an extra 14 bucksforthem.Get out of my room!".He covered Aqualad and himself with the blanket.No matter how enraged she was,Raven was powerless to do anthing.She calmed herself with the thought that her evil side would be shoved up Aqualad's ass.

Defeated,the dark girl exited the room,wondering where she was going to spend the night.Starfire?If she went to Starfire she wouldn't be able to get any sleep because of the alien's annoying habit of asking too many questions.Cyborg didn't have a bed...Robin?It would be weird to go to her leader.Not wrong.Just weird.She hardly knew the guy!That just left...

"Beastboy...",she said to herself.

* * *

She opened BB's door and instantaniously felt the smell of marihuana.There was noonne there!She looked around.Nothing unusual...just normal BB stuff.Raven froze.She heard hoarse singing from outside the room.One of the voices was BB's and the other sounded like Robin. 

_Hurrah!Hurrah!  
For southern rights,Hurrah!  
Hurrah for the Bonnie Blue flag  
That bears a single star!_

The door opened and the room entered the changeling and the team leader,drunk as fiddles,smelling like bums and singing on the top of their lungs.They hadn't noticed Raven until she yelled:

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!You two sound worst than a pack of horny cats!"

"Hey Raven?Wha' a' yeh doin' 'ere?",asked BB,trying to fix his eyesight on the girl.

"I think she's askin for some male company,mate.",said Robin groggily.

"Well,in that case,ye've come to teh right place,lass.",said Beastboy,putting his hands on his waist.

Raven,pissed of the way the two were looking at her (like hungry dogs at a bone),said:

"You stupid peckerheads!Why have you been drinking?"

"Well,let's see 'ere.We've been trying to drown or guilt of selling the tower in 'fire water'.Oh,and don't mind BB.".The group leader looked at BB,who had a stupid expression."I think the poor fella's lost it",Robin whispered in Raven's ear.

" 'Ey now!Don't be talkin' boot me 'hind me back!It's not nice,ya know.",said BB.

"If you ask me,you've both lost it.I'll just find another place to sleep.",the girl said.Upon exiting the room she overheard the two drunk teens talking:

" She's kinda cute..."

" Do you respect me mate?"

"Oh man,I respect you."

"Kiss me,ya bloody fool..."

Raven didn't want to hear any more of that so she started running towards the main hall.When she got there,the girl took of her cape,tossed herself on the sofa and went straight to sleep.

* * *

"TITANS!Get your lazy asses down here and make me breakfast!",shouted Slade through a loudspeaker.

Robinwas awakened by a shout.Something about breakfast.As soon as he opened his eyes...

"Damn!My head!".He rubbed his cranum.He had not noticed another teen next to him.

"What the...Robin!What are you doing in my room?And why the fuck does my ass hurt?",asked a familiar voice.

"Beastboy!".Robin got worried : he had obviously been drinking last night ; he was in BB's bed and the green boy's ass hurt.

"What did we...".Then it started to add up. "Quick,smell my dick!"

Beastboy looked shocked.

"Why do I have to..."

"JUST DO IT,ALRIGHT?"

The Boy Wonder unzipped his pants and got out his pecker.The changeling sniffed it.

"Dude...this is the strangest,sickest thing I've ever done besides pleasuring a horse."

"Come on!It's not THAT bad.",said Robin.

At that very moment a certain tamaranian girl entered the room.She saw this : Beastboy kneeling in front of Robin,whose dick was in the changeling's face.She screamed:

"ROBIN!BEASTBOY!WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

"Starfire!This is not what it looks like..."

"Tell me,Robin.When a human is standing in front of another human with his penis about to enter the mouth,isn't it obvious what they are doing?"

"He was just smelling..."

"I always thought you liked ME Robin!Not BEASTBOY!".She turned to to the green teen."And YOU!I never thought you would sink to THIS level!For what,BB?For money?For pleasure?To steal MY Robin!"

"Ummm...",the changeling didn't know what to say.

After that the alien flew out of the room,crying.

"Someone won't be getting laid anytime soon.",joked BB.

"Shut up!",whispered the Boy Wonder."Couldn't you at least move back a little or something?"

"TITANS!Get down here or I start spankin'!",said a muffled voice from the kitchen.

"By the way,what did it smell like?",asked Robin,while he and BB were walking through the corridor

"Dude!I don't know what you've been doing with that thing!",answered the changeling."It smelled like SHIT!"

* * *

Raven was having a dream.Robin and Beastboy were giving each other blowjobs...then Cy was playing ballet in a tutu...then..

"Wake up!"

She was awakened abruptly.

"Wake up or I'll feed your chakra to my intestinal worms!"

The dark girl opened her eyes lazily.Slade was standing beside her.

"It's about time!",he said."Go make me breakfast!"

The girl tottered to the kitchen where she found Cyborg making (what else) waffles,singing happily to himself.There was no sign of Aqualad,Raven figured he must have gone earlier.

"Good morning,princess of darkness!",Cy smiled.

"What are you so happy about?",Raven muttered.

"Oh,nothing.What are YOU so SAD about?"

"Oh,nothing.Just being the slave of a psycho-villain-maniac.Why do you ask?",she said darkly.

"Come on Raven!He's not that bad!"

"Yeah,sure.Except he's been trying to kill us all of last year."

"I don't hear you cooking,Raven!",shouted Slade from the other room.

At that moment Starfire flew into the room,crying.

"WHY?WHY?WHY?",she cried.

"What's happened Star?",asked Cyborg..

"Beastboy and Robin are...".She couldn't catch her breath."BB is ...s-s-sucking R-r-robin's

cock!".And with that she burried her face in her hands and cried some more.Cyborg and Raven looked at each other with concern.

"Beastboy,I understand",said the half robot."But I always thought Robin was a decent guy..."

The changeling and the Boy Wonder entered the kitchen with concerned looks on their faces.

"You ASSHOLES!",yelled Cyborg."At least lock the freakin' door!JESUS!"

Robin knew what the metal man was talking about.

"Look,guys!BB didn't suck my pecker.He was...smelling it...to..."

"He was WHAT!".Cyborg couldn't believe his ears.

"Last night we got drunk...and...well...BB's ass hurt...and...we weren't sure if we actually..."

"OOOHHH!I get it!",said the half robot angily."Last night you got wasted and you are sniffing his cock to see if it smells like shit,on the count of you're not sure whether he fucked you!".The two blushed and nodded."That's sick!Why didn't you look at his ass to see if it's irritated?You dumbass bitches!"

"Cuz ROBIN",said BB pointing at the leader."told me to.I mean how should I know?He's the smart one!I'm just the comic relief guy!"

"I'm sure even YOU'RE not THAT stupid",said Raven.After that she went to comfort Starfire and explain to her the whole situation.

"Ok...SO?",asked Cy.

"What?"

"Soooo...Did you fuck him?"

"Ummm...NOOOO!Are you kidding?Of course not!",said Robin.He and BB exchanged worried looks.

"Titans,if you don't make me breakfast until 9 a.m.,I'm going to rape Raven while you all watch!",shouted Slade from the main hall.Powerless to do or say anything,the teens started cooking as fast as possible.But Robin's head was already stirring up a plan...

**TBC...

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RR and I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer : I don't own the Teen Titans or anything related to the Teen Titans.

**_A/N :Here's ch.3._**

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A deal's a deal (PART 2)

"OOH,waffles and coffee!How sweet!",said Slade sarcasticly at the breakfast,served to him by the Titans.They had worked hard to please their 'master' and had gathered around the table at which the villain was going to eat.

"Let me tell you this...",the masked man shouted and threw the table on the ground."I don't eat ANYTHING but turkish baclava and imported french wine for breakfast!Now GET TO WORK,unless you want to see Raven losing her virginity!"

Robin clenched his fists,but was powerless to do anything.Cyborg couldn't believe what the villain had done with his hard-made waffles.All the titans were pissed and without saying a word,returned to the kitchen.

"Dude,I can't believe this!How the fuck are we supposed to make bacla...whatever and where are we gonna find french wine?",said Beastboy,putting his hands on his waist.

"I've got his french wine right HERE!",yelled an enraged Cyborg and started masturbating over a cup.

"Cyborg,we have to do what he says,or we'll be sent to prison!",said Starfire.

"She's right.",said Robin."So keep your DICK to YOURSELF!",he finished,yelling.

"Oh yeah?",the half robot was also yelling."At least _I_ don't go around shoving it into people's NOSES!"

Robin jumped Cyborg and the two started rolling on the floor,holding each other by the neck.

"YOUR MOTHER IS A HAIRLESS BABOON!"

"THAT'S WHAT YOUR DAD SAID BEFORE HE SWALLOWED MY..."

"ENOUGH!".Raven seperated them using her powers.

"I'll blast your TINY ASS!",shouted Cy.

"Bring it on,tin man!"

"SHUT UP!You are not helping!We have to devise a plan to get rid of Slade.",said the dark girl through gritted teeth.

"I agree.I cannot take another minute with that...that...GLOR'BORK (motherfucking,assholelicking,dickswallowing,sadistic,peckerless butthole;A/N : Who knew tamaranian was such a rich language?)!",said Starfire.

"Yeah!What she said!",added BB.Cyborg and the team leader shook hands and apologized to each other.

"OK...I have a plan.But it involves Starfire...",stated Robin...

* * *

Slade was walking in the tower,thinking on how to make the titans' lifes more miserable.He had to agree though,that the baclava they made was almost...delicious.

"Slade?Could you come to my room for a second,please?"

He turned and saw Starfire.There was something enchanting about the alien.He couldn't help it and followed her.

They were sitting on the tamaranian's bed when she got out two cups and a bottle of champagne.

"What is this?",the villain asked suspiciously.

"Nothing,nothing!I just want to talk,that's all.",the girl answered innocently.She poured some champagne in the cups.Slade sipped a little of the drink.After he made sure there was no poison,he drained the glass and asked for more.After gulping down his second glass,he asked Starfire:

"Hey,aren't ya gonna drink any?"

"Oh,don't worry.I just drink a little slower.",the alien said."Slade?When did you decide to become evil?"

"Well,I was born in a town called Baden Baden.My father,Adolfo,was an alcoholic and my mother,Helga- a prostitute,working in one of the german sick fetish sex clubs.Each night she returned home with scratches and bruises all over her body...

**Flashback**

A little boy was playing with his toy train.It was a cold december night.His mommy was still not home from work.His daddy was drinking whiskey in the kitchen swearing in german.The boy was used to his dad's manner of expressing the emptiness of the alcohol bottle.

"DIE MAUS EST ROT!DAS ELFE KOMMEN FUR MICH! (I hate this life!I hate Helga!Fuck my miserable existance!The mouse is red!The pixies are coming for me!)"

The man started crying,the child in the otherroom was not paying attention.The door burst open and Helga entered the poor house.She was a fat tall woman with breasts that reached the ground,if she didn't wear them thrown on her shoulders.

"MUTTER!",the boy cried happily.He rushed to hug his mother.The cold-hearted woman slapped him over the face.The infant fell on the ground,blood covering the right side of his face,quietly sobbing.Helga went to the kitchen.When her husband saw the fat woman he cried out in frustration.

"Das lowen rinnen en die gebiet? (Why have you come back?Did you at least bring me my whiskey?The lions are running in the field?)",the man asked.The fat lady looked at him with disgust.

"Ich bin die konigin von die Juden! (I don't have your precious alcohol!And I need money for a new dress,this one is covered in semen!I am the queen of the Jews!)",she said.

"Spritz mir,bitte! (We can send the child to suck peoples' dicks for money!Squirt me,please!)",the man said groggily.

"Die adler est rauchen Cannabis. (Yes,good idea.Then you will have whiskey and I will have sperm-free clothing.The eagle is smoking cannabis.)".The woman exited the kitchen and went to her son.Screams could be heard from the living room.

"Nein,mutter!Bitte!Nein!NEEEEEEIIIN!"

**End flashback**

And so Slade started to explain his sad childhood and unconciously drinking a lot of champagne in the process.

Unbeknown to Slade,the other titans were hiding in Star's closed.The alien had a lot of clothes so the four could fit easily.

"So,what's the plan again,Robin?",BB whispered.

"Well,my brilliant brain has devised a cunning plan : we get Slade drunk and we kick him out."

"Greeeeat.",whispered Raven with sarcasm,while trying to remove a black thong from her foot."How can she even fit in these?They're so tight!",she said in amazment.

"She has her methods.",whispered Robin with a smile.

"As much as I'd like to chat about Starfire's underwear,we have to pay attention!",whispered Cyborg angrily.

Slade's cheeks were getting pink behind his mask.He had had 8 glasses of champagne and was starting to get 'brilliant' ideas.

"Tell me,Starfire",he said."Have yeh ever been with an older man?"

Starfire was confused.Robin had assured her that by now Slade would have passed out.

"Ummm...no.Why do you ask?"

"Do you want to be?"

"I don't think so..."

"Come on,I'll be gentle...",said Slade unzipping his pants.Starfire got up from the bed and started walking away slowly. youself...'

But he had risen from the bed and was now walking towards the girl his dick in his hand.

"I'm HORNY,girl!",he said menacingly.Starfire let out an 'EEEKK!' and rn to the other side of the room.Slade chased her:

"MUHUHAHAHAHHA!YOU CANNOT ESCAPE,GIRL!"

The four titans in the closer watched as this was happening.

"Ok,we go NOW!",said Robin,who was mad with jealousy and anger-right now he felt like shooting Slade's dick off.But as he pushed the door...

"The damn thing's stuck!",he said.

"What!",said Raven in desbelief.

"EEEEEKKK!",they heard Star's voice from outside.

"MUHUHAHAHAHA!",Slade's voice followed.

"Move,tiny!",said Cyborg."I'll give the damn fuck a push."

"Can't move an inch!",said Robin.

Outside Slade had nearly reached poor Starfire.

"I'll hump you like an ANIMAL!",the villain yelled.

"EEEEEEEEKKK!",the tamaranian cried.

In the closet Robin was pushing the door fiercly,desperately trying to get it open.He was worried that someone that was not him was going to take Star's virginity.After a few seconds the door gave in and the four were out of the closet,just in time too: Slade was nearly on top of Starfire when Cyborg and Robin pinned him on the floor.The villain was struggling like crazy:

"I NEED PUSSY!"

"BB,quick!Bring the cheapest alcohol you can find",the Boy Wonder ordered.

The changeling rushed out of the room and soon returned with one of those giant plastic bottles of cheap,damn-strong-hangover giving whiskey.Cyborg and Robin opened the villain's mouth (Dunno how they did it through the mask though) while Beastboy emptied the content of the bottle (That's like 2L) down the masked man's throat.After about 10 minutes,Slade stopped struggling and lay motionless on the floor,humming a song.

"Now?",asked Raven.Robin nodded.The titans surrounded the sad sight of a villain.Cyborg spoke first:

"Slade?Do you mind giving us the deed to the tower and the island?"

Slade fixed his eyesight on the half robot and said with a hoarse voice :

"Long live the Furer,the savior of Germany...BLAAAHHH!".He threw up on himself.The titans exchanged worried looks.Especially after Slade started singing the German national anthem.They waited patiently for him to finish.

"You know,Slade,if you give us the deed to the island we will...umm...establish...ummm...a...NAZI headquarters...?",said Robin,trying to think fast.Raven raised an eyebrow and BB started giggling.

"YEEAHH!The document you seek is located in the...BLAAAHH!".Slade couldn't finish,on the count of the vomit in his mouth.The room was starting to stink."It is in Raven's room...under the bed...",he finished.The titans went in the dark girl's room and found the document under her bed.They then pondered on what to do with the villain.

"Let's just throw him out!",suggested Cyborg."The poor guy's had enough."

"Not quite,Cy.",said Robin with a wicked smile."I would like to have my revenge..."

* * *

"La lalaaaa...dum,dumdum duuuumm".Slade was humming carelessly,still lieing on the floor,surrounded by his own vomit.Then the titans entered the room,carrying a box.

"Ok,Robin.",said BB."This is what's left of my hay stash."

Robin was still smiling devilishly.He reached in the box and got out a cigarette,lighted it and shoved it into Slade's mouth.

"Now smoke!",he ordered the villain.The masked man started puffingsmoke and vomiting occasionally.

"I'd hate to be him in the morning.",Beastboy whispered to Cyborg,who nodded.After smoking three more cigarettes,the villain even stopped vomiting.He lay there,like dead,not moving a muscle.Robin was pleased.He had made sure that tomorrow Slade would wish he died.

"Pretty colors!...",Slade muttered,pointing at the ceiling.The titans put the villain in an old potato sack.They hung him from a hook in the ceiling like a piece of meat,then started beating the poor guy with baseball bats.This went on for about half an hour until the blood stained sack ripped and the masked man fell out.He was half unconcious,but still able to speak:

"I...shall not be...broken you...you..crazy...russians",he muttered,but couldn't continue because Robin jumped him and started punching and kicking his head.The other titans watched in horror as their villain,a usuallygoodhearted and gentle soul,was abusing a poor drunk-stoned man.After five more minutes,Robin took of his blood stained gloves and his pants and started masturbating over Slade's (masked) face.BB couldn't take it and vomited.Star put her hands over her eyes,while Cy was watching,his eyes wide open.Raven stated:

"I think he's lost it..."

"HAHAHHAHA!HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW,'MASTER'?BWAHAHAHA!",Robin mocked.After he stained the villain's mask with his semen,the team leader started urinating on him.Robin the turned to his horrrified teammates:

"Come on!Piss on him while he's still alive!".

The titans then squeezed the abused man in a big jar,put in a letter that said 'Will work for food' and threw him in the sea...

* * *

"I'm sure glad that's over with.",said Robin with a satisfiedexpression.It was about 7 p.m.,the teens were sitting in the sofa and Starfire was upstairs,cleaning her room of the mess

* * *

The next evening everything was back to normal at Titans Tower :Robin and Cyborg were playing video games,Star was cooking her famous barble'glorf stew,Raven was reading an old book,while Beastboy was sitting in the sofa with a thoughtful expression.He stood up,approached Raven and whispered in her ear:

"Would you meet me in front of your room in 5 minutes,please?"

Raven,too concerned with her book,just nodded.

"Thank you."

**TBC...**

**

* * *

**

Well,there's more junk 4 u. BTW,i changed the story genre from only 'humor' to 'humor+general' ,cuz the next chapters will include a little romance(In the end though it all comes down to humor)


	4. Chapter 4

A/N : This is chapter four.So here it goes.Oh!Before starting I would like to clarify that last chapter's "I am the queen of the Jews" does not aim to offend anyone.HONESTLY!I wrote it almost without thinking about it...sorry if I offended anyone!

* * *

**A little problem (PART 1)**

A dark shape crept through the empty corridors of Titans tower.Beastboy was walking towards his room,being mad about Raven not coming.

"A guy want to tell someone he loves her and this is what happens.",he muttered to himself.

The dark figure,lead by nothing but animalistic instincts,smelled teen blood...um...green teen blood.It glided towards the aroma.BB couldn't see the terrifying creature behind him.That is,until it hissed.The changeling turned rapidly,but was jumped by something in a cape...a pinkish cape.

"Hello,handsome!",it said with a veryfamiliar voice.

"Who...who are you?",Beastboy staggered.

"Why,dear.Don't you recognize me?You're hurting my feelings,love!".The thing took off its hood only to reveal...

"Raven!",the green boy said in disbelief.

"YES!",replied the grinning girl that lay on top of him."At least a part of her!"

"What do you mean?"

"Let's just put it this way...".Raven got off BB and moved back a little so she could be in the light.Then she took off her cape;the changeling gasped:under it wasn't the usual black leotard,but a black bra and thong."You like?",she grinned.

"Uhhh...".Beastboy was staring at the girl.He also noticed that this new Raven had bigger breasts.

"You wanted to know who I am?",the girl said."I'm not the girl you love.She's down at the main hall,sleeping.She forgot all about your little arrangement.But I couldn't miss on a chance like this." The girl pushed the startled changeling on the floor again.

"How do you know I love her?",BB asked,trying to get up,but the girl lyed on top of him.

"You can call me Horny,little elf...",she whispered in his ear.

* * *

Beatboy's head was spinning : first he's attacked by this scary dark figure,it turns out to be a DAMN HOT version of Raven,and then she says her name is Horny and starts licking his ear. 

"You're not Raven?",BB asked,trying desperately to prevent his erection and failing at it miserably.

"I'm a part of her,Beastboy",Horny said,then returning to kissing and licking his neck."Ohh!",she smiled."Aren't WE getting excited!" She was reffering to the boy's arrousal and placed a hand on his crotch.

"This isn't right!",BB forced himself to say.He was obviously enjoying this SPECIAL attention he was getting,but deep inside he felt guilt.This was not the girl he loved!This was just a part of her!He had to resist...he had...to...resist..."Get off me!"

"NO!",the girl yelled."You're getting laid whether you LIKE it or NOT!"

But she was suddenly surrounded by black magic and thrown to the other side of the corridor.The source of this power was...

"Raven!",gasped BB."GASP!"

"GET...AWAY...FROM...HIM!",she yelled.Her eyes were white.The struggling Horny yelled back:

"DAMMIT!IF I'M RELYING ON YOU FOR SOME GODDAMN SEX I'M GONA DIE A FREAKIN' VIRGIN!"

Bur Raven wasn't listening.Using her powers,she 'absorbed' the hottie and when it was all over,collapsed on the floor,exhausted.

"Raven!" BB rushed to support the dark girl.But she couldn't stay awake.She passed out.

* * *

Raven woke up in her room.It was 2 a.m.Beastboy was sitting in a chair near her bed. 

"Okay,Raven.",he started,when noticing she is awake."I think you owe me a GODDAMN explanation!"

"Ok,ok!What do you want to know?" She was tired and wanted to get this over with ASAP.

"Well,first of all,why didn't you show up when I asked you to meet me?"

"Because I already knew what you were going to tell me."

"And?"

"Look,Beastboy.I'm going tomake this as simple as possible: I'm not attracted to you."

These words pierced the changeling's heart.Raven continued.

"I'm not trying to be mean.I just don't wanna get your hopes up.I'm sorry."

"I understand.",BB said on the edge of crying."And what about that girl?"

"That...",Raven said with despise."...was Horny.She's one of my emotions.She somehow found a way into this world and started hunting for a mate."

"Why me?"

"Heck,she'd even make out with Mad Mod if she had the chance..."

"Creepy."

"Yes...but for now,let's get some sleep." She turned to the side and almost immediately fell asleep.

"Cold-hearted witch!I wish youget rapedin hell!",BB mumbled before drifting away in a chair he sank into.

* * *

Raven woke up to find BB sleeping in the chair.After last night's incident her head hurt a little and her muscles were aching.The girl got up and walked clumsily towards the door.Beastboy was awakened by footsteps.He rubbed his eyes and looked around. 

"Raven?Do you need any help?Cus I can..."

"Talk...later...need tea..now...yess!Tea good for Ravey!",said the girl in her monotone voice.

"Well...ok,whatever." BB went to the bathroom for a shower.When he went to the kitchen,he was terrified by what he saw.

* * *

8.30 a.m.Robin woke up,his dreams stirred by the retched alarm clock.

"Damn you!I shall have my revenge!",he yelled,throwing the poor clock in the wall,shattering it into pieces."HAHAHA!I am avenged!".You could see the madness in his eyes."Sir Robselot shall not be made a fool!"

* * *

"The beautiful day has arrived!",cheered Starfire.She dressed herself and decided to go see Robin.She had nearly reached his room,when she heard something crash in there;then someone was yelling.The tamaranian got scared,and as she prepared for combat,Robin suddenly burst out of his room.He looked at her with immense fear.

"FLEE!FLEE!",he screamed."The pixie king is coming for us!AAAAAHH!".He ran down to the kitchen.

"I'm afraid I will never quite understand Earth's strange ways...",Starfire said to herself and decided to visit Cyborg.

* * *

Cyborg woke up.After making a complete system check of his robotic body,he went to check on his car.At the room door,he met Starfire. 

"Good morning,Star!",he smiled at the tamaranian.

"I would also like too 'good the morning' to you,friend Cyborg!",she smiled back."But I am a little concerned.Robin did something he had never done before." Her smile faded.

"What did he do to you?CUS IF IT'S WHAT I THINK IT IS,I'M GONNA TWIST HIS LITTLE PECKER!"

"Well,he burst out of his room,claiming he is persued by the...'pixie king'?Is this normal behaviour for earthers?

Cyborg was stunned.He knew that whatever involved the pixie king WAS NOT normal behaviour.

**Flashback**

"Hey,Cy,gimme some more weed,dude!"

"Can't...the pixie king is watching me...he might turn me into a condom...I promised his sister I won't smoke crack."

"Dude,you're already stoned as hell!"

"Shh!Quiet!He's watching...he's always watching!..."

**End Flashback**

"Umm...no,Star.I don't think this is normal behaviour for Robin.Let's go see what his problem is.",the half robot suggested.

* * *

Down in the kitchen Raven was gliding to her tea cupboard.She got out a teabag and dropped it into amug of hot water.She sipped...and her mug was shattered into a thousand pieces by a flying metalred boomerang.She turned and saw Robin,his right hand streched out. 

"What the HELL do you think you're doing!",she spat.

"Go back to the pit,demon!" He said the last word with disgust.Raven was now enraged.

"What did you callme?"

"You're a filthy demon,worthy only of sucking horses' DICKS!BACK! BACK,I SAY!".He made a cross with his fingers.Raven raised an eyebrow.

"You're crazy."

"OOHH no!" His eyes were wide open."Do you think they didn't call Atila crazy when he invented gravity?"

"WHAT!"

"Don't get smart with me filth!I'llsend you back to the shadow where you belong!"

Raven couldn't take it anymore.Robin knew very well she despised 'the shadow',even though she was,in fact,half demon.But this wasn't Robin.This was...

"I,sir Robselot,enemy of all dark forces,command you to return to the pit that spawned you!" Instantly he was pinned to the floor by black magic.

"AARGH!You shall pay for this,Veuzevul!I'll hunt you down and..."

"Calm down!",Raven yelled."And don't talk nasty things about my granddad!"

"By the power of The Light,I command you to BURN!" But he couldn't finish,because he was thrown at the ceiling head-first and passed out.Raven hated to do this,but knew it was for the best.Robin acted like crazy and might have tried to hurt her.

"Raven...",said a familiar voice.She turned to the door and saw a terrified Beastboy.

* * *

BB was stunned.He had just witnessed Raven,usually calm and gentle (!),beat the shit out of Robin. 

"Raven...I don't believe this."

"Beastboy,listen to me!Something's wrong with Robin.He...he attacked me...well...my tea.",the girl staggered.

"Umm...Raven?I REALLY think youshould lose the black magic grip around Robin.",said BB.

"Why do you say that?",questioned the half demon.The green boy pointed at a horrified Starfire,staring at the motionless Robin with shock.She looked at Raven,her eyes glowing menacingly.The tamaranian then shot herself at the dark girl,grabbing her by the throat.

"WHAT...HAVE...YOU...DONE...TO...MY...ROBIN?" The alien was gagging the half demon.Beastboy quickly removed the enraged tamaranian from Raven and had to transform into a gorilla to hold her back.

"Glorf'zag (Bitch)!Snof'nig (whore)!I am going to...TO...SCREW YOU!",she yelled.Raven held back a smile.It was obvious Starfire was not used to swearing Earth-style.

"Starf...",the dark girl coughed,rubbing her throat."Star,I would NEVER hurt Robin.He attacked ME!Don't you get it?"

At this moment Cyborg walked into the kitchen.He saw BB holding Star from killing Raven;'Definately something not right here.',he thought.

"Hey ya'll!Calm down!CALM DOWN!I wanna know what happened!",yelled Cy.

Raven told the whole story.By the time she finished,Starfire apologized for...umm...trying to strangleherto death;Robin was waking up.

* * *

_A/N : This next part is taking place in Robin's mind._

"Damn!My head...hey!Where am I?"

"You're in your mind,unworthy dog!"

Robin turned and saw...a mirror?No...a guy who looked exactly like him except for...

"Dude,what's with the armor and sword?"

"Do not mock me,coward!I spit on your dignity!",the medieval Robin spat."I am sir Robselot,I'm your idealized version.I am everything you want to be...in a slightly bigger amount."

"Say WHAT?"

"I'm you,except better."

"Oh...OK!Umm...scary knight dude?I'd like to be waking up now...please?"

"Listen,asswipe!I'm tired of staying in your perverted little head.I want to break free!"

"Now,now!Don't be gay..."

"I wasn't finished,asshole!OK,here's the deal : everytime you hear the word 'fuck',I become in control.But if someone says it again,you come back,get it?"

"Umm...not really..."

"Whatever...say hi to that demon and tell it I'll have its head!Ta-ta!"

"Um...bye?"

* * *

Robinwoke up in his bed to find the titans staring at him with concern.As soon as he opened his eyes,he was embraced by a red haired girl. 

"Oh,friend Robin!I thought something horrible had happened to you!Are you feeling well?" Starfire loosened her hug so that Robin could talk.

"Yes,Star,I'm fine...I'm also damn hungry!"

"What happened back there?",Raven asked.

And so,Robin told them about what he had seen in his mind."He also said that he'll come in control whenever someone says...DAMN!I forgot...Oh well!What's for lunch?" 20 mins afterwards they were all in the main hall,wathing TV and eating pizza.All except...

"Hey,where's Raven?",asked BB.

"Oh,she's in the bathroom,having a shower.",Cyborg answered,not takinghis eyes off the TV screen.

"Shit!",Robin spat.

"What?",BB gazed at him.

"Nothing...just...I need to have a leak..BAD!"

"Oh,well...deal with it!" The changeling returned to eatinghis vegetarian pizza.Robin was getting desperate.He ran up to the bathroom and knocked fiercly on the door.

"Raven,please!I need to go NOW!",he pleaded."You can pull the curtains,I won't peek,promise!".Raven sighed.She pitied the poor guy so she yelled: "OK!Just be quick!"

Robin entered and hastily unzipped his pants.He groaned in pleasure as the urine was trickling in the toilet.Raven was irritated by the sounds.'He can at least do it quietly...',she thought.At this moment the girl accidently dropped the slippery soap.

"Fuck!",she mumbled.

TBC...

* * *

A/N : AAHH!The end of another chapter.It took me a while to create and write it,so I'm glad it's over with; RR 


	5. Chapter FLASHBACK

Thanx to all the reviews so far!Like I like to say : quality is more important than quantity :P .I'm so wise!

**This chappie is a flashback.It's when BB,Cy and Rob want to sell the tower (ch.1) and eventually find Slade,who is eager to buy it.Read now,my children.And remember : no one is perfect,but YOU are pretty close ;). (Again : I am so wise!).**

**

* * *

**

_A symphony in green_

"_Party now,study later!" - Dexter_

"Tower for sale!Get your tower right here!Really cheap!" Cyborg was yelling in the streets of Jump city.The people were trying to evade him,while Robin and Beastboy were in the nearby liquor store,asking for jawbreakers and Vagi Clean.

"Yeah,it's this...thing for cleaning...drains and vaginas.",Robin explained to the salesman,who looked at him with disgust.

"Aight,man!Out you go,before I call the cops!",the man said with a jamaican accent.

"You know what?I will.But don't go crying to me when I send a letter to your boss and he fires you!...How much for three jawbreakers and a box of Vagi Clean?",the boy wonder asked before the salesman god out a double-barrel gun,made for killing African elephants and started shooting at the Teen Titans leader.

"HAHAHA!EAT LEAD MAN!ME GONNA SHOOT YOUR ASS!...I wonder if I'll get fired for killing minors...".Beastboy was looking at a giant bottle of Russian vodkа.'The perfect gift for your enemy.Two cups of Tzar's Killer and he'll be in a coma for a guaranteed two months!',the label said.

"Wooow...I'm gonna get me one of those one day...",the green titan said,looking like hypnotized at Tzar's Killer vodka.He hadn't noticed Robin running from the jamaican man,who was shooting at him.The team leader ran out of the shop,screaming like a five-year-old,the salesman was running after him.The jamaican (let's just call him George,kay?) stopped a few metres from his little liquor store.

"The hunt be on..." George got out an AK-47 (Avtomat Kalashnikov,deadly Russian submachine gun.With great range and effectiveness in close combat,the AK-47 is still the main weapon in over 50 countries.),loaded it with 30 rounds and got out his 'Robin Radar' tracking device.A small dot was blinking,**ROBIN** written above it.George kissed his weapon.

"We be goin to quench your blood thirst,Lizzie.",he said affectionately to the AK-47.

* * *

At this moment BB walked out ofthe store singing 'I Will Survive' to himself. 

"A few coins,I beg you,kind sir..." Beastboy looked down to find a tanked bum."The thirst is killing me..." 'What a perfect opportunity to test if Tzar's Killer really works',the titan thought.

"Just a moment,old hobo.I'm gonna bring you something that'll quench your thirst...and better!" BB ran back to the store and returned with a bottle of genuine,100,Tzar's Killer vodka."Now hold still!",BB said,emptying the whole 2,5 l of Tzar's Killer into his guinea-pig's throat,laughing devilishly."How do you feel,old man?"

"I feel very good,actually.Thanks,green boy,I needed that." BB's mouth opened wide.His stoned little brain was telling him something wasn't right.The hobo should've DIED from like three cups of the stuff,yet the whole bottle had little effect on him.He only looked rejuvenated.The man stood up to shake hands with the boy.

"It's a honor to talk with one of the great defenders of Jump city.My kid would've gone crazy if he met you!I think he even masturbates over a picture of Rav..." the man collapsed on the ground,convulseing violently.Blood started trickling out of his mouth,eyes and nose.BB laughed.

"I should've brought my camera",he said through tears.A large puddle of blood was forming around yet another victim of Tzar's Killer vodka.The bum's heart had stopped,but he continued to convulse nearly a metre into the air.His flesh sizzled and turned red.His veins turned blue.Massive internal haemorrhages exploded all over his body.BB continued to laugh,the marihuana's booming voice still commanding his actions.

* * *

"Lady,would you like to buy a perfectly good tower?" Cyborg was chasing an old lady.She turned to him with a disgusted look. 

"Shame on you,boy!You been smoking something?How can you sell Titan's Tower?What are you gonna do with the money?Probably buy Vagi Clean,or whatever you young people are buying these days..." Cyborg looked angry with the lady.

"Listen you OLD BAG!You ain't gonna tell ME what to DO!" The old woman was shocked,Cyborg looked like he was about torip her and feed her guts to a beaver."You know why?Cus YOU are NOT better than ME!" The half robot transformed his hand into a sonic cannon and blasted the old lady into the nearby canals.Cyborg laughed out loud,the marihuana's booming voice still commanding his actions.

* * *

Hunted.Pray to a crazy jamaican.Nothing but an animal to a blood-thirsty carnivore.Lost in the jungle,called Jump City Subway,Robin was running for dear life through the dark moist tunnels.Nothing but his footsteps could be heard in the smothering darkness.The boy wonder stopped abruptly,all of his marihuana-blurred senses sharpened. 

_No,woman,no cry  
No,woman,no cry  
Said,said,said  
I remember when we used to sit  
In the government yard in Trenchtown..._

**(A/n : Bob Marley ROXX!)**

The music was getting louder...louder...LOUDER.Robin started running again,panting like a bulldog.A set of lights broke the darkness.

"HELP ME!",the boy wonder shrieked."AAA!" A green jeep was approaching,driven by none other than our friend George.

"IIIYA MAN!",he shouted in pure ecstasy.George pointed Lizzie at the his prey,his other hand on the steering wheel,and pushed the trigger,not letting go until he emptied the whole cartridge-clip.Robin managed to evade all the bullets shot at him.The jamaican then reached for the back seat and got out a net gun.Aiming at his prey,he pushed the trigger.Robin found himself entangled in a netand fell hard on the ground.Trying desperately to free himself,his every attempt failed.George smiled to himself and reloaded his love-Lizzie the submachine-gun.He got out of the jeep and slowly approached the entangled Robin.

"This is where it ends,man!" He pointed the AK-47 at the team leader's face.Suddenly,a fist came out of the darkness and hit the jamaican in the face.George fell hard on the ground,letting go of Lizzie.A dark figure jumped on top of the jamaican,got out a cooking knife and started slicing poor George's face.After the cries of pain and horror faded in the pool of blood,the dark shape approached Robin and used the blood stained knife to cut the net.It was Slade.

"Who are you?",Robin asked frightened.The masked man looked puzzled behind his mask.

"Robin",he said with a sly voice."Don't you recognize your mortal enemy...wait!Have you been smoking again,young man?"

"Umm...no?"

"I thought I had erased that habit from you."

"Why did you save me?"

"I have plans for you."

"Yea,whatever...Slape...or whatever...do you want to buy a perfectly good tower...really cheap."

"You want to sell the tower to me?Your home?"

"What?...yea,sure."

"Mmmm...ok.How much do you want?I can write you a check of a hundred-two hundred thousand dolla..."

"600 oughta do it."

"WHAT THE FUCK...Oh,ok,sure!"Slade reached into his pocket and got out six shabby bills and handed them to Robin,who got out a document and handed it to the villain,grinning.As the two shaked hands,Robin contacted BB and Cyborg through his communicator and arranged for them to meet near a pharmacy,his mind controlled by the marihuana's booming voice.

* * *

"Say WHAT?" The salesman couldn't believe his ears. 

"You heard us-60 Vagi Clean kits,please." Robin was grinning widely,BB and Cy staring with awe at a fish-globe just behind him.

"You kids been smoking?"

"Listen here POPS!",Cyborg pointed his sonic cannon at the man's face."If you don't wanna end up like the writhing remains of an old lady in the shit river you better fill the BAG WITH VAGI CLEAN!"

"D-d-don't hurt me,please!",the salesman shrieked and filled a couple of bags with the desired product."T-t-that would be 600 please."

Robin handed the man six bills and,happy,the three teens walked out of the pharmacy,dragging the bags full of their stoned desire.

* * *

2 PM.Beastboy,Cyborg and Robin were dragging the bags,headed nowhere.Since they didn't own the tower they were homeless,but the boys didn't care.The important thing was that they had Vagi Clean... 

"The chicks are gonna GO CRAZY ABOUT US MAN!",Cyborg stated happily.They walked for another 15 minutes,when the boys got sleepy and layed down on some benches,falling asleep immediately.

* * *

8PM.Awakened by a man looking for a blowjob,the boys had the pleasure of beating him up.The marihuana had lost its effect and thethree found themselves dragging bags of what looked like Vagi Clean.They headed to the tower...

* * *

**Dedicated to all the people who read this story!I love you!**

**_Recently it was discovered that with each review you send,your life shortens with approximately 2 days.So don't review,it's for your own good.Smoking and drinking is enough for you ;)_**

The previous comment has been sent by an individual,whose mental condition has been diagnosed as unstable.He has been restrained and is currently healing at a facility,dedicated for those in need of guidance.

**gosscliff : LET ME OUTTA HERE!**


	6. Chapter 6

Hello.Before commencing I'd just like to say a few words which none of you are obliged to read.First I have a message for a certain reviewer (Darkchestofwonders).Yes,ladies and gentlemen,the review this person posted kept me going for at least one more chapter.I want to tell you,Darkchestofwonders (catchy) that the other reviewer (LittleMissMorbid) wasn't the reason I stopped posting.(feel free to do whatever with her nipples).The reason was there were like 4 people reviewing and I thought "What's the point?" and just stopped.For you I made this next one.Oh and I'm flattered you're in love with me but if you're really "Sexy as hell" I don't think I'm the person you're looking for...if you are.I'm ugly,smelly,repulsive,not to mention gay,ignorant,selfish,evil,spoiled,rotten and many other bad things.

**Disclaimer:I don't own anything. **

**Keyboard does not respond.Press F12 to continue.  
**

**_Meet the maker_**

**  
**Not long after the titans found an extraordinary girl who had a way with rocks and Beastboy found something else.At first he liked her for her looks,but after he got to know her better he found himself enchanted by her wonderful attitude and sense of humor.  
Beautiful morning.Beastboy woke up with a void in his stomach.Thinking about nothing but a hot dish of tofu eggs,he went through the corridors,passed Main Hall and walked into the kitchen in a half sleeping-half awakened state and opened the fridge.The boy then streched out his hand to the usual place of his tofu.Instead there was a package of sausages.He pulled it out and closed the refridgerator door,still thinking he was holoding his usual food.

"Sexy boxers BB."

All of a sudden the changeling woke up and noticed what he hadn't on the way here-Terra,sitting in a chair,sipping a cup of coffee.He tried to stay cool.

"Uh...yea.Thanks..you too...I guess."

The girl laughed.Her presence made Beastboy feel comfortable.He sat in a chair in front of her,still holding the package of sausages.

"So what's up?"

"Couldn't sleep.I woke up earlier so I got down here and made a cup of coffee.You?"

"Um...I'm just hungry so I'll be making myself some tofu eggs.I can make you some if you want...",he pointed at the package.

"BB that's not tofu.That's meat."

BB's smile faded and he threw the package like he would a giant bug...not that he was afraid of giant bugs but you get the idea .Terra laughed some more,while BB returned the sausages in the fridge,determined to find his vegetarian food.

'Wait!I can't find it!I can't find my tofu!THEY ARE THIEVES! THEY ARE THIEVES! THEY ARE FILTHY LITTLE THIEVES! WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS IT? THEY STOLE IT FROM US! IT'S OURS IT IS! AND WE WANTS IT BACK!"

"Uh...Beastboy?What the hell are you talking about?"

"Sorry,got carried away."

Beastboy was walking around the kitchen,cheking every possible location of his tofu.Suddenly it came to him.

"CYYYYBORG!"

The half robot was just entering the kitchen,rubbing his non-robotic eye.

"Mornin ya'll."

"Cyborg?"

"Yes,BB? "

"Have you seen my tofu?"

"No."

"LIAR!",the green teen launched himself on Cy's shoulders,punching everything his fists could find.The half robot calmly grasped BB by his T-shirt and held him in the air about a metre away from himself.

"Calm down,B.I'm sure we'll find it.Nice boxers by the way."

"AH!I'm hungry!I won't survive if I don't get any food soon."

"Why don't you just eat some normal food?",Terra suggested.

"NO!That would kill us!KILL us!"

"Huh?"

"I do eat normal food.It just doesn't contain anything that...that might be...fine I don't eat normal food cus I'm freaky,happy?"

"Pretty much."

"Good!Cus the day you see me eating meat is the day Robin will ask Star out."

Fifteen minutes later Cyborg was eating a dish of bacon and eggs,Terra was still sipping her coffee,while BB was sitting in front of a pair of sausages with a side dish of beef burgers.

"S'good BB!",Cyborg said with a mouthfull.The morphling laughed nervously.The food in front of him was disgusting by his opinion,but he felt the life force being drained by the hole in his empty stomach.

"Yea,just try some.It won't hurt you.",Terra suggested slightly amused.

"Uh...he-he...yea...sure...it's just food right?Just food coming from the rotting carcass of a dead animal!NEVER I will NEVER abandon my principles!I'd rather DIE from starvation

15 minutes later...

"PLEASE PLEASE CY!Make me some more steak!I promise I won't wipe my ass with it...this time.

"Well...OK,but if you disrespect my cooking again I'll have to punish you." It was now 8 am and none of the others had gotten up yet.The half robot made the promised steak and threw it in a plate in front of the changeling. "Eat up."

BB took his fork and knife,cutting a small piece of the meat.Slowly and uncertainly,he placed it in his mouth. "Chew,chew!",Cyborg encouraged him.Doing exactly that,BB swallowed the meat.

"Incredible.",he stated after a few seconds."You feel the energy of the animal.You chew what was once its tissue.You swallow ita cooked blood vessels,veins and muscle.Yet it's giving you force.The feeling of satisfaction.Dude,this is better than masturbating!

"I see it has the same effect.",Terra noticed.

"You like it?",Cy asked.

" 'Like'?Could you define 'Like' please?"

"Uh...to...enjoy something immensely?"

"No,Cyborg,if that's your definition of 'Like' I don't 'Like' meat.I do not merely 'enjoy it immensely '.I FEEL meat.Meat and I are one.Flesh and flesh.Like strangers,always seeking,never finding...until now.I AM now perfection." The three stood in silence a few more seconds.Slowly Cyborg stood up and started clapping,Terra followed.Tears filled the half robot's organic eye.

"Beautiful..."

"So is there any more?"

"Nope,sorry.That was our last steak."

"I need more."

"Go buy some."

"Where from?"

"The meat store."

"Why there?"

"Doh."

"You're right,stupid question.Can I borrow the car?",the changeling asked with hope.

"Nope."

"Ok.Well,I'm going now." Robin walked in yawning.

"Mornin."

"Hey Robin."

"Wuzzap?"

"Huh?"

"I'm going to the meat store.You wanna come with me?"

"Uh...no.I just got up."

"Yea...sure."

"I'll come with you.I'm too bored anyway",Terra said.

A couple of minutes later,Terra and BB were riding on top of a rock.When they reached Jump city,Terra parked her 'vehicle' and inserted a couple of coins into the parking meter.

"What are you doing?",the morphling asked.

"Being a good citizen?"

"But why are you...never mind.Now where's the meat store."

"Over there.",the girl pointed at a store with a 'Meat store' sign above it (doh).They walked in and BB shivered being before all that meat.The salesman looked at him with disgust :

"What do you want,plant eater?" It was obvious BB was famous for his despise of meat.

"...I would like to purchase animal flesh,preferably fresh and maybe some minced tissue with unknown origins.

"What my friend is trying to say is we want steaks,burgers,grilled chicken and some jerky.",Terra clarified

"Very well...as long as it's not for him.I won't sell my good products to that defiler!" BB jumped on the counter and shouted :

"JUST HAND OVER THE SALAMI AND I WON'T GUT YOU LIKE A PIGGY,OK?"

"Yes sure...hehe...right away.Do you want beef or pork salami?"

"I'll be havin myself some butcher salami if you don't shake a leg!"

"Ooh,macho.",Terra said with sarcasm.

"MIND YOUR TONGUE WOMAN!",the changeling hissed.The butcher whispered to the girl :

"We have that a lot recently.Vegetarians who'd previously had meat...they must be isolated and it is recommended that they are anaesthetized for 3 days."

"Gotcha",the girl said.

Later that day everyone was minding their own business.Raven had gotten up and was reading a moldy old book.Robin was talking to Starfire about a show he had seen-"When cute kittens go BAD!".The alien just gasped at when Robin showed her ,using a pillow,what a kitten had done to a 6 month old baby.

"AND THEN THE CARNAGE!BLOOD,GUTS,BRAINS ALL OVER!THE CAMERAMAN LAUGHING FIENDISHLY!"

Terra was...well washing her underwear in the sink or something,listening to her CD player.

"_This is the house that funk built-Groove Armada style ..."_ Beastboy was watching his show on TV-"When cell phones go BAD!"

"HAHAHA!",he laughed."Hey Raven,did ya know that more people die from cell phone accidents every year than from rabid penguin attacks?Hey,come watch this with me."

"No.",the dark girl answered,still reading her book.

"Come on!"

"No."

"You see?I'm dealing with walls here!"

"Shut up."

"No wonder everyone hates you!"

"What did you say?"

"Nothing.."

"No.That was the most hurtful and unsulting thing anyone has ever told me."

"Sorry.I didn't mean it.Hey look!The man is getting electrecuted by his cell phone...cool"

"Already seen that." The computer started beeping.Robin pushed some buttons on the keyboard.

"Weird.Seems Slade is robbing a bank.Hm...people usually die when you break all their ribs.",he said puzzled.Raven had the honor of transporting everyone at the crime scene.Slade was just shooting eveything that moved.When Robin shouted out his name,the villain turned.

"Ah,the Teen Titans.I suppose you thought you'd never see me again huh?Well when I was sailing in my little jar-boat,neither dead nor alive,an old fisherman-faggot found me.He saved me,but wanted me to return the favor so I took off my pants and blah blah blah..." The masked man continued with his unending stream of information,so let's just skip this part.

"...and that's how I saved the turkish town Batman from certain doom.So robin,are you gonna throw your fancy gadjets at me now?

"No,not really...this is Teen Titans battle tactics number 45" The team leader got out two Desert Eagles and started shooting at the villain.Cyborg started blasting him with his sonic cannon,Terra aimed with a AWP sniper rifle,Raven with an AK-47,Beastboy with a MAC-10,while Starfire provided cover fire with a M249(extremely heavy machine gun,which stores up to 100 rounds).Slade took cover behind a counter.From nowhere,he got out a helmet,bulletproof vest and with incredible strenght and accuracy,started returning fire with dual M4A1's,complete with grenade launchers.The villain threw himself sideways out of his refuge,never letting go of the trigger.Unexpecting the violent outburst,the Titans were forced to pull back a little.Robin reloaded.

"Star!Covering fire!",he yelled,trying to outshout the accion.The tamaranian made a gesture,showing she understood."BB!You take the right and Raven the left!Cyborg!Take the point next to the plant!Terra!You stay put!If he shows himself,blast his friggin bucket!" The team leader returned the Eagles to their holsters and unhooked the MP5 from his back,beginning to advance slowly towards the villain.

"We runnin outta ammo here!",BB shouted.Robin threw himself forward,pulling the trigger.He caught the masked man by surprise,shooting him in the shoulder and legs.Slade cried out in pain as the hot blood gushed out of his wounds.The red liquid made its way forward his arms and flowed down the handle of the weapon.Despite the great pain,the maksed man aimed at Robin's head.The leader dodged the line of fire and took cover behind a counter.Realizing there wasn't any way to get out of this,Slade became aware of what he had to do.

"Strenght and honor!...",he said to himself,trembling slightly.The villain attached a bayonet to the M4A1.Recieving strenght from an unknown source,he threw himself at the unexpecting teens.

"PREPARE FOR HAND-TO-HAND!",Robin shouted.His teammates obeyed and prepared for the montrous collision.Slade was at about a metre from them,when,with inhuman ferocity,he waved with the bayonet and if he hadn't missed,that blow would've sent BB's head flying, but the green teen jumped back.Slade parried and dodged the shots and swings of the titans.Finally,too exhausted to fight,Slade pulled out a japanese Harakiri sword (Samurai used this when they lost a battle or dishonoured themselves in some way.It's basically suicide).

"STRENGHT AND HONOR!",he shouted once again before stuck the sword in his torso and fell on the ground.

"Harsh...",BB said,wiping the sweat on his face with his sleeve.

* * *

"Well titans",Robin started.It was now night and they had gathered in the main hall."I think we learned something today.Battle tactics number 45 is a failure and our powers were given with a reason." Slade had been stransported to a hospital.

"So can I keep my MAC?",BB asked with hope.

"No."

"Aight scumbags listen up.I'm gonna show you what I've been working on.My secret project.",Cyborg said and everyone followed him to a dark room on the second floor.

"Ladies and gentlemen.",the half robot announced."I give you the fruit of my labours.The latest in hero technology.The...WAFFLEIZER v6.10b!",he pushed the light switch revealing a two metre tall machine with a single red button.

"WHAT!",the others gasped.Robin walked forward.

"You mean to tell me you wasted Batman's money on a damn WAFFLE IRON!"

"Not a waffle iron,no!",Cy exclaimed."It turns evil guys into waffles!"

"Huh?"

"It's funny!Waffles"

"Huh?"

"I'll demonstrate",Cyborg pulled a regular thief from outside the screen."Observe." He pushed the red button and a great big flash blinded everyone.After a few seconds the half robot's sight cleared and he could see the ground scorched where the machine was supposed to be,but it was gone.Along with Raven,Robin and BB.Cyborg helped Terra and Star up.

"Where are our friends?",the tamaranian asked worriedly.

"I don't know.I'll check." The half robot started pushing some buttons on his arm.

_Raven - ?_

_Robin - ?_

_Beastboy - ?_

"I don't get it.I'll try the main computer." The three went downstairs,where the same thing happened-Raven's,Robin's and BB's coordinates were unknown.

"Hmm...it's possible my machine triggered a wormhole sending them into different...hmm..."

"What?",Terra asked.

"Don't know.Planets,dimensions...different times in history.

"Your history...how big is it?",Star asked.

"Quite big Star,quite big."

"So it won't be easy to find them?"

"No It's impossible.We can only speculate where they are..."

* * *

Raven got up,still blinded by the flash. 

"I don't think the Waffleizer was a success,Cyborg...",she said rubbing her eyes.When she opened them she found herself on a large green field.It didn't take her long to realize she wasn't in Titans' tower anymore.The girl tried contacting her teammates through her communicator,but she coudn't get a signal."Hm...strange",she said to herself.

Raven levitated 15 metres into the air and looked around.She could see nothing but fields and cliffs..The girl moved a little so she could see over a hill...and froze.

"This is...impossible...",Raven said to herself,becoming the witness of a battle with apocaliptic measures.

* * *

Beastboy couldn't understand.When the flash faded he found himself in the same place he had been ,only the others were gone and there was a window in the room,that wasn't there before.The changeling started walking downstairs,only too see himself playing videogames.He instinctively hid behind the door-frame.Something wasn't right here.Last time he checked HE was Beastboy.Now he saw himself on the couch,playing videogames!'AM I DEAD?',he thought.'Nah,can't be.I'm solid.Wait!What was that thing Cyborg told me?... 

_"BB,always remember not to smoke and drink at the same time,cuz the other day you're practically dead man!"_

NO!Not that!This!

_"BB,It's possible that when an experiment goes wrong,you get sent to another dimension."_

'Right,right...WHAT!SHIT!',BB thought.Raven walked into the room.Our BB transformed into a fly,so he woudn't be seen.

"You're in my seat",she said to the other BB.'Some things never change',our BB said to himself.The other BB grabbed her by the wrist and kissed her passionately.To our BB's surprise she didn't pull back.'WHERE AM I !',he asked himself,still not believing his eyes,which he closed after Raven layed down on the other BB.Suddenly,the other changeling lost all interest he had for the video games...

* * *

When he regained consciousness,Robin realized he wasn't home.In fact,he didn't know where he was.There were ruined buildings and rubble all over.He tried unsuccessfully to contact the others.The team leader looked around.Then he saw something on the ground that filled him with panic and brought him to the ground. 

"No...",he whispered as his eyes were layed upon the date of a nearby newspaper-

_**26.04.1945**_

**_  
_**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer : I don't own anything.Except the plot. **

**A/n : Thank you.I don't know exactly why I skipped the chapter,before which Raven dropped the soap...I guess for an unachieved effect...whatever.I'll complete it now.**

**_Not meant to be (a.k.a. The stupidity syndrome)_**

Seconds before the Big Bang...

"Satan!Don't touch that!"

"Why?What's gonna happen?"

"SATAN GET AWAY FROM THAT!"

_**BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG !**_

"Sorry God..."

"Oh go to hell Satan..."

**_

* * *

_**

Raven's fingers tightened sround the slippery soap.She started sliding it down her pale skin.By now any sounds made by Robin had ceased and the only thing that broke the silence was the water,which was washing away the foam from the girl's body.Raven wasn't happy.Her emotions restrained her from any kind of relationship,the kind she wanted.Alas,she was destined to be alone.Not being able to love and be loved.

"Robin are you still there?",she said."If you're done,get out you perv.Starfire might like you watching her while she's in the bath,but I hate..."

A hand pulled the curtains.Raven instinctively covered her breasts.Robin was holding a stick in one hand and with the other grasped the girl by the throat.Using her powers,Raven pushed him away,buying herself some time to grab a towel.Robin got up.

"I am prepared this time,demon!",he said,getting out a bottle full of water."Holy water,blessed in the Vatican city by the pope himself!"

"Are you sure you didn't just scoop it out of our toilet?",Raven looked at him with doubt."Okay I'll play along." She kneeled slightly."I WILL CONSUME YOUR SOUL AND IT SHALL BURN IN DEMONIC FIRE FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY!" Robin was slightly taken back,but quickly poured some of the water in his palm.He then made a cross motion with this hand and hit Raven with the other.The girl fell on the floor.Turning her head,she revealed an extra set of red eyes,glowing menacingly.

"Big mistake..." She jumped the team leader,who fell,grabbed him by the neck-piece and lifted him into the air."Robin,I know this isn't you,so I'll restrain myself from forcing your insides to see daylight." Robin spat in her face. "Fuck you then." She dropped the leader on the floor,preparing the spell she was always saving for when Beastboy was high/drunk.

"Raven...what are you..." Raven stared in horror for a moment,recognizing Robin's usual voice,then sank into a black hole in the ground,teleporting herself into her room.Putting on her black leotard,she couldn't help thinking why this sick crap was always happening to her.

* * *

"BB,wanna play some "Pensioner Deformed Samurai Monkeys 4",Cyborg asked.He was about to enter the most bored state of his life. 

"Nah.Cy,I'm thinking we are getting too mature for Gamestation.Maybe we should throw it away.",the changeling suggested.Cyborg was taken back.

"What!Are you kidding!WHAT are we going to do if the Gamestation was in the trash?"

"Smoke?Get drunk?Mature stuff.",BB shrugged."Maybe get laid...y'know."

"BB you have less sex than an eunuch.",Cyborg laughed.The two were sitting on the sofa."We could drink _it..."_

The changeling got the "Are you crazy?You know what that stuff did to that guy!I witnessed his death!"

"C'mon BB!Just a little.What harm can it do?"

"IT WILL BURN THROUGH YOUR MECHANICAL INSIDES!",the green teen shouted."It's prohibited in most of the civilized world!" The half-robot raised a bionic eyebrow.

"Russians drink it,don't they?"

"Russians can drink a tank full of acid without getting more than a hangover." Starfire walked in cheerfully as usual.The two arguing boys stared at her for a moment and then continued yelling.

"I'M TELLING YOU YOU CAN'T DRINK THAT STUFF! IT'S DANGEROUS!"

"GO MORPH INTO A PORCUPINE SO YOU CAN SUCK YOUR OWN..." Starfire coughed softly.

"Beastboy,Cyborg,I wish to ask you whether you think Robin would like his birthday gift." She got out a mask,not very different than that of the leader,only pink and fluffy with a red heart in the middle.The boys stared."Oh and look-" She pushed a button.

'Titans,GO!',the mask responded in a Donald Duck-like voice.Starfire giggled."I made it myself,using only tree bark,a dead cat's left eye and a biker's backhair,painted in pink.So,you think he will like it?" .The two stared at her for a while.BB's mouth dropped open.

"Star?Are you insa-" Cyborg put a hand over his mouth.

"Of course Star!I'm sure!" Starfire beamed and skipped out of the room.Cyborg slowly turned at BB."So where is it?"

"I..uh...threw it away!Yea,that's it!Sorry Cyborg." BB looked pleased with himself.Cyborg looked at him for a moment,then said:

"Ten bucks."

"Deal." The morphling ran to the kitchen and returned with a bottle,'Tzar's Killer',the label said...

* * *

'Did I do something to her',Robin though time and time again.'She looked so scared.Should I ask her what happened?She'll probably blast me into oblivion...better wait untill tommorow...' And with that last thought he walked out of the bathroom and headed towards the main hall.As he entered,he nearly tripped over an empty bottle.He picked it up and sniffed it a couple of times.Instantly he lost his balance and grabbed a chair for support."Cyborg!I told you not to keep any potentionally lethal chemicals on the floor!You know Star drinks them!",he yelled."Cyborg?" Walking a bit further he saw the half-robot lying half-dead covered in blood and vomit,only the steady breathing reavealing any signs of life.The leader rushed to his side,turning him to his side as a stream of vomit flowed out of the cyborg's mouth. 

"Should've had the damn stomach removed too...",he mumbled before passing out.

'This is clearly the work of Raven's daddy.',Robin thought.BB tottered into the hall.Instead of green his face was reddish blue.There were fresh stains of vomit all over his uniform.'Oh my god!Trigon has obviously magically turned Beasboy's stomach upside down so that he vomits uncontrollably!' The changeling tottered some more then seemed to realize Robin was there.

"And THERE he is!" The morphling said exitedly."The Asshole!Oh sorry,'sir'.",he saluted with irony."I mean the leader-guy.Sparrow!"

"You can't talk to me like that!I'm the boss 'round here!What happened here?Why are you covered in puke?'

"The point is,chicken boy,that I don't CARE!I'm sick!I'm TIRED!I do everything around here!And what do I get in return?NOTHING!Not even a fucking 'thanks'!" At this moment the team leader burrowed his fist deep into the mouth of the drunk teen.Blood and teeth splatted on the floor."Heathen!I'm a soldier of truth and I banish Thee of this world!",he shouted.

"Wha'!" BB only managed a mutter as Robin kicked him hard in the groin with his metal boots.Tears pooled into the green guy's eyes and he slowly fell on the floor."YOU ARE VERMIN,DEMON!I WILL PERFORM A SACRED RITUAL THROUGH WHICH YOUR DARK,DIRTY SEED WILL REMAIN UNSPAWNED!"

"My what?",a terrified high-pitched voice replied.Robin rushed to the kitchen and returned with a rusty machete,which you don't have to ask me why was in the tower,and with a swift movement tore open the uniform of the green teen.He grabbed him by the throat and threw the ruined clothes off the changeling's body.He was hanging in the air with nothing but his boxers and his balls about to be cut off with an instrument that was everything but hygenic.Luckily for the morphling another'demon' or 'half-demon' as it turns out was about to be a whitness to this horrible 'ceremony'.Immediately summoning her powers,she was able to shatter the machete and throw Robin in the couch.The victim of this montrous act fell hard of the floor,sobbing quietly.The girl rushed to his side and laid a hand beneath his head,doing what she could to sustain the brain damage with her powers.The changeling opened his eyes for a moment and whispered :

"Are they still in place...?" Raven gave a brief smile and nodded,watching the morhling sigh with relief and pass out.Then she turned to Robin who was sealed in an envelope of dark force,watching the girl,who was now walking towards him.She felt not anger,but pity.

"Do you know what this is Robin?This is a blood bath.This is an extermination of your friends.First me,now Beastboy.Get a hold of yourself for Christ's sake!"

"Do not mention His name filth",he interrupted.If He was here you'd be begging for your wretched life by now." She kept looking and him for another few seconds.

"You said that guy in your head told you a word.",Raven remembered."A word...what word?" The girl walked back and forth for a while,pondering.Then she placed two fingers on Robin's struggling head and whispered words of power.She was instantly transported to another place.It seemed to be a great...void.A dominance of nothingness but a brief breeze blowing now and then.Raven focused and shouted :

"I know you're watching!Come out!" To speak in this strange place required great will and focus.The void was extremely deep and it was sucking all of the half-demon's life force.A booming laughter echoed in the nothingness.A dark deep voice bellowed :

"And what if I do?Do you really think you have the might to bring me down?" More laughter."Who do you think you are,Raven Roth?Why have you come here?Even with your...'good' intentions,do you really think even HE would appreciate it?"

"You are a parasite,Trigon.And you are weak.You overestimate yourself." This time the breeze was hot and burning to her skin.She seeked refuge inside her dark blue cape.

"The power I have is too great for your comprehension,Raven Roth.Your mother should know..." The girl's felt anger building up inside her stomach."Yesss...I feel the memories of your sweet mother...that night...only 15 years ago."

"I don't care!Just let him go or I'll remove you myself!",she shouted,feeling her self control slip away from her grasp.The dark void,so empty and deep,seemed to change colors,like a chameleon feeling he's close to a meal."Leave this place,Trigon!Go back to the fiery Chaos!" This time the voice was filled with anger.

"Watch yoursef,Raven Roth!I have invested great...hopes into this human."

"Show yourself and your only hopes will be with The Dark One not having your head for betraying him!Show yourself!" Raven felt her knees weaking and she barely dropped to the unsolid floor below.

"I would,Raven Roth,but my presence here is non-phisical.I am The Void...and you have walked into my trap...",now Raven felt faint and dropped to her knees.The last thing she remembered was the booming voice coming out of nowhere..."...like an insect in a spiderweb..."

* * *

**Damn...good ending this one.If I have the time,I will go on with this story.So in conclusion,I'd like to thank all my reviewers and encourage them to keep it up,because they are the engine power to this fic :) .**

** _ Gosscliff_ **


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